Thursday, December 20, 2012

Special holsters decorated with apples and school houses

I really want my children's teachers to be packing. That way, our teachers can be focused on guarding the children as well as teaching them. I want my child's kindergarten teacher to have to adjust her holster before bending to tie my little one's shoe. I want her shoving the butt aside to pull my wee one on her lap. 

We've slashed budgets for teachers, phys ed, the arts and school psychologist, but surely we can find the budget for guns and ammo, along with training.  Plus, there would be side benefits: we'd be creating a growth industry, special holsters decorated with apples and school houses. And we'd never have to worry about an appropriate teacher gift:  all they would want for Christmas would be a few more rounds of ammunition. This would also cut retirement costs, as they could take a later job teaching girls in Afghanistan. Maybe schools could even share their budgets with Foreign Affairs. 

Plus, think of teacher's newfound ability to use guns as a disciplinary tool. Probably a knock in the head with one would be effective, or if not, the click of the safety going off as a warning. This could be very helpful with recalcitrant kids, unless of course, the child overpowers the teacher. But what the heck, said bad child would only get to shoot until the teacher next door unholsters and races in.

And so what if some bored, impulsive eight-year-old makes a grab for it and kicks off maybe twenty rounds? The casualties would hurt, but in the end, it would cut down on education costs. 

Most of all, our children would be learning our nation's real values: fire power and saving money to spend where it really counts--on the extremely wealthy, who we hope and pray will give the rest of us jobs.

Share this post via:

No comments:

Post a Comment